(no subject)

[ladyoftime]

 

TAPE #K9950073(BW)

 

S: I still have dreams about him, sometimes.

D: Would you like to tell me about them?

S: No.

 

 

Once in a while, you think you remember how you came to be here, coasting through a world of white walls and faceless strangers, their drugs pumping through your veins like your own blood. Why the colour blue soothes you, why you keep insisting the doctors aren’t, why you’ve broken out 16 times just to sit on the roof and stare at the stars (20 times uncaught, but what was there to do at the end but to go back? It’s all you know.)

 

You’ll understand, someday, they tell you. All the little locked doors in your mind will open, and you’ll remember.

 

You’ll remember.

  

TAPE #K9950073(BW)

 

S: He was running again.

D: What was he running from this time?

S: Another man. He was..

(5 second interval)

D: What?

(10 second interval)

S: It doesn’t matter.

 

 

You broke out for real, once. It was sunny. The sky was blue, but not blue enough. Not enough. You weren’t wearing shoes, and you’d almost forgotten how the grass felt against your feet, and you ran. It felt so natural that you thought maybe, for once, everything was going to be all right. You could disable the fence, reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, climb over it and be free.

 

When they caught you, you were clutching your head and screaming, over and over again, and you let them bring you back because you couldn’t remember, couldn’t remember what was wrong, why you couldn’t leave.

 

 

TAPE #K9950033(BW)

D: The orderlies said you were screaming in your sleep last night. Would you like to tell me what happened?

(11 second interval)

D: You’ll never get better if you refuse to talk to me like this.

(11 second interval)

D: Maybe tomorrow.

 

 

Poor thing.

 

Poor thing.

 

 

TAPE #K9950042(BW)

S: He’s trying to tell me something. He’s trying to tell me…

(6 second interval)

A: What?

S: It’s okay. Over and over. But it’s not. It’s not.

 

 

You can see through your own hands, sometimes, and deep inside you know this is all just imaginary, that you don’t exist, it won’t last. It’s all just a dream.

 

Just.

 

 

 

TAPE #K9950099(BW)

S: I had another dream.

D: Would you like to tell me about it?

S: He saved me.

(14 second interval)

D: I don’t understand.

S: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

 

 

It’s the blue box. You’re drawn to it like a moth to the flame, spend hours and hours looking at it. It’s like an old friend, a confidante you can’t help but visit (one last time). You’ve had flickers for ages now, bits and pieces of past live(s) that you can barely remember when you come to.

 

(It’s what you always wanted, in a way. Isn’t it?)

 

You do, now. You remember everything.

 

(everything has a time, and everything dies)

 

You remember every person who crossed this way for you, because of you, because you ran in their lives and changed them, made them better or worse you don’t know, but different. Maybe that’s it. Because you didn’t think you’d last this long, and you thought you’d live so much longer. But you can’t choose. Somewhere out there is a person who can, who can do everything you’ve lost and nothing you’ve gained.

 

It’s okay.

 

Your solitary heart beats its last, and Death welcomes you with open arms.

 

 

_/\__/\__/\________/\______________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TAPE #K995001(BW)

 

S: I’m not supposed to be here.

D: What do you mean?

(7 second interval)

S: I don’t know. I don’t know! What have you done to me? What have you done?

 

 

Community: theatrical_muse
Prompt: 240 - Discuss an individual who has scared you.
Word Count: 611
Author's Note: It's... difficult to explain, really. Um. DonnaDoctor, sort of... echo... of Eleven. To slightly butcher a Lemony Snicket quote, "It is a curious thing, ... death. It's like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark and thinking there is one more stair than there is."

Comments

[susan-who.livejournal.com]

OMG.

[eleventh-doctor.livejournal.com]

Hopefully that's a good OMG...?

[susan-who.livejournal.com]

it's a good OMG.
it gave me chills.

[eleventh-doctor.livejournal.com]

*BEAMS*

Glad to know you liked it!