(no subject)

[ladyoftime]

I am COMPLETELY aware that I am not a member of our_magic_place. However, the current challenge looked like so much fun that I couldn't resist writing a response for Eleven.

You are to write a recipe, an actual recipe, for ONE of the following four things: a)a perfect mate (lover, husband, wife, etc...), b) a dream come true, c) a disaster or d) a battle of wills.

Remember, this must be in recipe form.

A RECIPE FOR DISASTER
(best when prepared by Gallifreyan High Councils.)

Approx. Preparation Time: 1,586 yrs.
Recipe makes 1 serving.



1 ½ cups cleverness -
1 pint luckiness -
2 cups adaptability -
2 cups imagination -
1 ½ cups good looks -
1 ½ tablespoons sorrow -
1 2/3 tablespoons loneliness -
2 tablespoons rudeness -
3 tablespoons mental instability -
1 teaspoon fear -
2 teaspoons pain -
1 gallon memories -
1 banana, mashed -
1 satsuma -
1 stalk of celery, sliced -
3 cups jelly babies -
1 sprig of adventure, for garnish -

1 storm (equal parts thunder, lightning, and rain) -
1 pinch pure everyday magic -
1 Time War -

1 cat pin -
2 umbrellas – 1 multi-coloured, 1 white -
1 pair of running shoes, pref. converse. (Colour will not affect the final dish.) -
2 scarves, each 6 ft. in length -
1 standard-size package of companions -
1 can of nitro-9 -

1 TARDIS -
1 fully-stocked Kitchen of Rassilon -
1 sonic screwdriver -

WARNING: Dish must be kept in constant motion during preparation, or it will congeal.
WARNING: Dish should not be left without any companions for too long a period.
NOTE: If this recipe is prepared correctly, it will change form at least 10 times.

1. Pre-set the TARDIS to the galactic co-ordinates for Earth.

2. In a large bowl, mix cleverness, luckiness, adaptability, imagination, good looks, rudeness, mental instability, fear, and running shoes. This will be your base for the dish. Stir with sonic screwdriver until the contents gain a smooth texture. Begin adding the magic in SLOWLY, along with a VERY small portion of the memories and two or three companions. Do not stir.

3. In a separate, smaller bowl, mix the sorrow, loneliness, and pain. Cut the storm into thirds, and add one third of the storm to the bowl. Allow it several hundred years to settle.

4. While the contents of the small bowl settle, return to the large bowl. Add another small portion of memories, and replace the companions with new ones. (Repeat this process throughout the preparation every time the companion(s) start to lose their potency.) Move contents of bowl to a large pot and cook on low heat for 8 hundred years. Over the course of the last 6 hundred years, sprinkle 1 of the scarves, 2 cups jelly babies, celery, cat pin, umbrellas, and 1/3 of the storm in.

5. When the 6 hundred years are over, bring the heat as high as it will go. Dump the Time War and the contents of the small bowl in, all at once. DO NOT LET CONTENTS OF POT BURN. Watch the pot constantly to prevent this. When the Time War has dissolved into the mixture, take the pot off the heat, add the banana, and allow to cool to room temperature.

6. Place the last third of the storm and the satsuma in the bottom of the large bowl and return the contents of the pot to the bowl. Set can of nitro-9 on the top of the mixture, trigger detonator, and take cover.

7. Finally, sprinkle the last cup of jelly babies along the edge of the mixture and cover with the second scarf to store in refrigerator until serving time.

8. Serve in the TARDIS with a sprig of adventure.